TravelBlog 3.3: The End

I'll admit it, I got lazy. Sentences are over-rated sometimes.

Tour day 3: started peacefully, anchored too close and got stuck in the morning low tide. Waited it out. Cruised around all day, playing cards and reading. Learned that there is no difference between river and channel in Vietnamese. Dad got to drive the boat for a while, and he didn’t even hit any buoys! Ben and Chris dangled feet over the front for a long time. I took a million bazillion pictures of the small islands, boats, clouds, caves, and whatever else I could get my lens on (I will probably toss ¾ of them in the end).

Anchored, decided to go for a swim. Ben Chris and dad and our “English speaking tour guide” jumped right in, after a few minutes I decide to go to. I got changed, but wussed out on the first jump. So glad I did, Ben and Dad got stung by a jelly fish, on their arm, chest and back. Chris missed it, as did the tour guide, though he clung to the anchor line and waited a few minutes for the jellyfish to float away. Once back on the boat the guys were rubbed down with ice and limes, the acid in limes breaks down the acid from the jellyfish. Dad got it the worst.



Dinner was seafood yet again; we were eating a farmyard of animals at every meal. Think someone accidentally checked the Atkin’s Diet box on our reservation form.

Back to Hanoi the next morning. Much better hotel this time around. But our room had broken AC. Changed rooms. Flight time was changed without notice, thanks Jetstar.



Last day in HCMC, Mom and I ran errands, collected trinkets, and drank so much coffee I don't even want to think about it. Stayed up till 4am waiting for the morning. Put the parents safely in a cab and sent them on their way.

TravelBlog 3.2: The Middle

The bus to Mui Ne was good, and we “got “ the whole back row. Chez Nina as good as ever. Ate so many shrimp, so many shrimp. Built a sand turtle, sampled Mojitos up and down the beach. Rented a motorbike and explored the new highway, and found the sand dunes at the end. Ate more shrimp.



Bus from Mui Ne to Dalat was small, crowded, no AC, bumpy roads, and left everyone with a hurting tailbone. But going up and over the mountains gave some fantastic views. Dreams Hotel was nice, the nicest of all things but they seemed to have forgotten all the finishing touches (wiring, caulking in the sink). Breakfast was awesome. We all ate tons: tomatoes, eggs, cheese, avocado, perfect mango, and of course coffee. Toured for the day with a driver, took us to all the places we wanted and all without annoying tour-guide chatter.

Flew to Hanoi. Hotel questionable, family changed, we stayed, it wasn’t too bad. Walked around, found KFC! Next day, went to visit uncle Ho and his stilt house, one pillar pagoda, museum (bizarre). Walking tour through the Old Quarter, no luck on Mojitos. Next morning picked up by tour company for Halong Bay tour.

We made a requisite stop at a factory/rest-stop. Mom nearly bought a star ruby ring, but got some silk shorts instead. Arrived in Halong Bay and got directly on the boat. There is room for eight, but its just the five of us, and six crew.



Day 1: motored over and toured a very large cave, hiked up to the top of a small but steep island. And went kayaking to a cut-off area of water in an island (no pics too wet).

Day2: we quickly left sight of any other boats. Sailed all morning, ran aground about 11, which made a good stop for lunch. Biking in the afternoon, around an island, 30Km. Broken bikes, wrong turns, water buffaloes. It was wonderful.

TravelBlog 3.1: The Beginning

The parents arrived on June 23, way late at night. Many gifts were brought, not the least of which was nearly two pounds of beef jerky. Ben got some birthday cards from home, and I got a batch of choco-PB no bake cookies! Mom and Dad were in a hotel just around the corner and Chris crashed on our couch. On their first day in town we hit up the tailor for some climate friendly clothes for the new arrivals. They did some backpack shopping to replace the tattered bags they brought over. Around lunchtime we wandered over to the Lotteria on Tran Hung Dao for some awesome traffic watching. The next dya we did the downtown circuit, the palace, the post office, the cathedral, and of course diamond plaza. Friday was wonderful.

On Friday we caught a city bus to Soui Tien, a newish amusement park on the edges of the city. After visiting many attractions and sweating so much we wondered if becoming human jerky was an option, we took some time out in the water park area. Ben had to sit that one out, as his toe was still wrapped up. And after three days in HCMC we didn’t get rained on. The parents were starting to think we had lied about all that rainy season stuff. But later that night we got rained on, something fierce, it was so bad we ordered in and made someone else brave the weather so we could eat delicious pizza.



Bus to Siem Reap, long and bumpy. Seam Reap, hot sunny, good, mom killed a big flying bug with her hat. Found a temple we had missed last time. Kids at lunch stayed an talked for a long time. Great Khmer dinner and a nice guesthouse. The beginning of the quest to find the best Mojito in Vietnam (and Siem Reap).
Phnom Penh, not so good. Sketchy town, sketchy area, not a minimart to be found, Good food though. We were turned away at the palace comlplex, and got rained on on the way to the National Museum, and waded through the flooding in time to buy tickets 30 minutes before the museum closed. Great museum by SE Asia standards.
“Chicken Burger” = hamburger grilled with chicken skin on one side.

Room: small, dark, smelled of smoke. Chris’s was much the same, not as smelly. Parent’s was much nicer, window, balcony, functional aircon, bigger. They were all reasonably clean though.

Next, we go to HCMC and refuel/do laundry before heading out to Mui Ne and other Vietnamese destinations.

TravelBlog 2.0: Hue and Hoi An

Hue was a great change from Ho Chi Minh City. For starters its on a river, a nice one, and it was cool and drizzly and wonderful. My friend Natalie and I arrived on Monday morning, and made quick work of settling into our hotel and then heading right out to explore the town. We went right for the Citadel (the old imperial city) and worked our way through the old buildings. It was incredibly quiet, there were few other tourists and the rain made the whole thing feel very peaceful. After the Citadel we went to one of those overrated cafes that are so highly recommended by Lonely Planet. Then we crashed for a much needed nap before trying the local Indian place for a late dinner.



Our second day began well. The hotel had a modest but tasty buffet to offer. After fueling up on Vietnamese coffee we headed out. We found a boat to take us on a one-hour ride up and down the Perfume River. There were hardly any other touristy boats on the river and the whole thing was very serene. Unfortunately, the only boats the place had to offer were quite large, so it was just the two of us on a boat the size of a rather large living room. After the boat ride we hired two motorbike drivers to take us to a temple and a couple of tombs a little way outside of town. The temple was beautiful and completely empty of any other people. It was essentially a large flat park with raised sections in the middle.

Next we went to the tomb of Tu Duc, an emporer who had 104 wives and countless concubines but no children. It was really much more than a tomb, a small park really with many tombs, and a small lake with an island. We spent nearly two hours there, I think, and explored every corner. The third tomb was closed for renovations so we headed back and wandered around the area near our hotel, went to a museum, found what looked like an Olympic training center, and a wonderful supermarket. Then another nap and out for dinner.

On Wednesday got up early and caught a bus to Hoi An, about four hours south of Hue. We found a hotel and headed out. The old town in Hoi An is a world heritage sight, you can buy a ticket to see a bunch of things and wander all over. And that’s exactly what we did. We saw and old house, a museum, a temple, the market, the Japanese covered bridge, and oh so many tourist shops.



Next morning it was back on the bus to Hue. We got some errands done once we were back in Hue, gathering presents, and getting a couple of skirts made. A long dinner and a couple of drinks. Up in the morning on Friday and back to the airport to fly home to Ho Chi Minh.

All in all it was a really pleasant, laid-back vacation. We were never in a rush to get anywhere. We saw what we wanted and were never in what you would call a crowd of other tourists. And we got almost everywhere on foot, at a wonderful stroll. I would do it again in a minute.

Tales of the Unthinkable

Oh blog, how I have ignored you. Let me count the weeks…..

Anyway, you shall be repaid in great tales of this last week. And what a week it has been.

Let’s begin at the kebab stand. Natalie, Camille, and I stood awaiting the greasy joy that is kebab as a rather portly looking Vietnamese woman waddled our way. She began to speak, not to anyone in particular but certainly in our general direction. As she ambled closer it became clear that we were the subject of her ramblings and erratic gestures. Suddenly she was upon us. At first it seemed she would pass us by undeterred, but it was not to be. Her first victim was Natalie’s braided hair, which was tossed callously over her shoulder. Then the woman moved on to Camille. A harmless nudging of the shoulder was followed by a not-so-harmless grab of the butt, which was followed by a downright unbelievable grab of the breast. In such a situation what can one do but simply laugh at the absurdity of life.

But our unstable new friend did not stop there! No, she had other business on this small side street. As she continued to amble and ramble she tossed her briefcase ahead in the road. Nextly she shared with us, the teachers and Vietnamese locals alike, the bounty that was her breasts. She displayed them to all who would see without shame. Following this display she procured a cigarette, sat down in the middle of the street, and proceeded to have a smoke as traffic made way around her. And then, just as suddenly as she had appeared, she was gone.

Now I am not saying that I enjoy the idea of being fondled on the street by random women but at no point did I attract the attention of our dear new friend. Could it be that I am so utterly uninteresting that I warrant no on-street-molestation? I hope not.

Wacky event number the second.

Picture it, Vietnam 2009. A young boy emerges from the back room of your local convenience store. His is an unremarkable child apart from his obesity and lack of clothing. He giggles as he patters up the isle toward the front of the shop. He stops, as if contemplating his next naked move. And then like a flash he was down, on his naked back on the floor, a solid stream of pee emerging in a most artful arc away from his naked self. And just as quickly as it started it was over. Up again he begins to contemplate his creation. Should he spread it around with his hands? Should he dance in a carefree Fred Astaire fashion? Should it be spread onto the nearest merchandise?

But it was not to be. An employ emerges with a mop and simply wipes away all the options that had been tumbling through his naked little head. The child toddles out the front door and away from the scene of his most recent endeavor.

And later that day…

Whilst swimming at a local pool it was observed that two men collided in the pool. This resulted in swears, threats, slurs, and near fisticuffs. The men shouted and gestured wildly at one-another until security was forced to separate them. The stunned onlookers returned immediately to frolicking, and no more was heard from the two men who brooded on opposite sides of the pool.

Could there possibly be more?

I spy with my little eye a smallish dog dragging his butt on the sidewalk. I spy with my little eye a smallish dog spinning around in circles on his butt…..for nearly two minutes. I spy with my little eye something completely hilarious.

On a not so wacky note.

I went with my friend Katie to get her nose pierced the other night. It was a modern and professional looking place (for all those who just cringed at the idea of a piecring/tattoo shop in this city). And in typical Vietnamese fashion there were about 20 people in the shop “working”. So as she had her nose pierced who was surrounded by at least six adults and two small children all looking on and in some cases literally over her shoulder. It was a sight to behold.

I love this city.

TravelBlog 1.0: Mui Ne

Let’s start from the beginning, and an early beginning it was. We had an auspicious start to the day, caught the bus from HCM to Phan Thiet, a smallish town about 15 km from Mui. We were told by the Mai Linh bus ticket lady that we could then catch a “shuttle” from there to Mui Ne for a measly 5,000 VND.

Lies, blasphemous lies! In reality, we had to walk most of a mile to a local bus-stop, and wait for a bus that was never to come, buses stopped running early as it was the day before New Year. While motorbike drivers attempted to get us to Mui Ne for ever changing fees they also managed to not so sneakily snap a few photos of my cleavage for “personal home use”. After confirming with a couple of lovely local girls that the bus was finished running for the day we chose to share a cab with another traveler.

Things get worse from here on out people. Let me preface this next bit by saying that I had spent the entirety of the previous day in bed, lulled into complacency by Star Trek: The Next Generation, and completely forgot to write down our hotel information.

The cabbie was not familiar with our hotel’s name, and dropped us randomly along the 4 km of hotel lined road that is Mui Ne. Assuming that it was a simple task to find “Chez Nina” we attempted the pitifully misguided walk-along-and-look-for-a-sign maneuver. Nearly 3 km later, two exhausted peopled piled into a cab and tried our luck again.

Once again our driver hadn’t a clue about the name of our hotel, and we drove. We drove down the road, we drove back up the road, and we drove back down again. To his credit our driver made valiant attempts to discover the address of our hotel, but with no success. Finally in an act of desperation, I threw myself out of the vehicle and into the nearest internet café. I emerged less than two minutes later, address in hand. Another two minutes later we were safely delivered to the hotel.

As it turns out the hotel has more names than it knows what to do with. The restaurant is indeed called Chez Nina, but the hotel itself goes by Mai Khanh, or alternately Paradise Huts. It also turns out to be the most splendid place we could have hoped to land. Mai Khanh comes complete with bungalows, beachfront, a pond, beach chairs, umbrellas, unfailingly friendly staff, and two of the ugliest dogs in creation. I loved it all.



Mui Ne is a wondrous place. From our position above the beach we were in prime people watch territory. And Mui Ne is full of Russian tourists. After a fair amount of time surveying the beach and walking the one road I noticed a few things. Young Russian women are truly goddesses walking the Earth, they are fit, beautiful and glide along the beach in the most ethereal of fashions. Older Russian women are horrendous creations, the likes of which I have only witnessed once before in a parking breakroom which shall remain nameless. Somewhere in the intervening years Russian women’s genes issue a memo to the body. I believe it reads something along the lines of, “The lumpy apple on toothpick legs is what its all about. Make it so!”

But kudos to those big fugly Russian broads and their even bigger husbands for strolling up and down the beach in the skimpiest Speedos and granny-assed bikinis they can find. I can only hope to have that kind of self acceptance when gravity and time take their toll on me. That or make attempts to remain reasonably fit and healthy and accepting.

In addition to beach gazing, a motorbike was rented. We rode out to the real town of Mui Ne, not to be confused with the tourist strip on which we were staying. Many a cheerful “Hello!’ was waved at local children, who never seem to tire of simply saying hello to passing tourists. An old UNICEF well was found, along a mostly residential alley. It seemed to be mostly forgotten, and thankfully no longer necessary. In our adventuring about the new highway was found. We had seen one end of it on the way from Phan Thiet to Mui Ne and were intrigued. So, a-motorbiking we went. Please see the YouTube video below for a mini-tour of the new highway and Mui Ne. (Sorry about the lack of hyperlink)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7bKGRBYv9w

It was superbly wide and deserted. Needless to say we rode it one way, and then back the other way. And not another tourist was to be seen, our kind of acitivity.

Truth be told, we had a fairly antisocial vacation. We seemed to always be eating in restaurants at which we were the only patrons, and in general avoiding people. And in the traveling tradition we were in bed by 10 every night. We are such cool people.

On the way home we decided to go with a different bus company, which took us nearly door to door for significantly less money and hassle. We arrived home just in time for me to come down with food poisoning which has kept me in the house for two and a half days now and robbed my of all the overtime hours I had carefully arranged for. But its all good now.

I have been pretty bored as of late on my days off. I know, it's hard to believe that a person could be bored in this town but it's true. I have also noticed a painful lack of visual excitement in our apartment. So, on Tuesday I set myself to the task of creating something for the walls. This is what I came up with (with a little help from Stumble Upon).



I used some free magazines we had lying around to cut out circles, and glued them along lengths of not so good dental floss. Then my little friend Blue-Tac helped to secure them to the wall. I am pretty pleased with the outcome.